Wednesday, December 4, 2013

What is Wrong with Me?

Recently I asked myself that question, and I looked inward for the answer because I sincerely wanted to know. I was certain there must be something wrong with me. Surely I must be an evil, awful person, that my own family didn’t invite me to join them for Thanksgiving. Right?

Wrong. With a bit of introspection, I realized there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and it was not my fault that my half sister thought it was perfectly acceptable to exclude me from her holiday dinner. Even if we were in the middle of some huge family feud – which we aren’t – her actions would be less than kind. Given that the only reason she didn’t invite me is that she just doesn’t like me very much, I find her meanness reprehensible.

We’ve never fought or exchanged harsh words, and I have no idea why she feels the way she does about me. But by not inviting me, she’s shown me what’s inside her heart, and it’s not pretty.

I won’t lie. It did hurt that my half sister, her husband and kids, my step Mom, my brother, his wife and kids would all sit down to a Thanksgiving meal and think nothing of not including me. But life is all about those teachable moments, and this was one for me.

I learned that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I am a good person, and I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. That my family couldn’t do this on Thanksgiving … well, that’s their problem, not mine. 

I cooked a big turkey, and my cats and I feasted on that tasty bird for hours. I did not wallow in self pity, and I did not spend my day feeling bad that my family excluded me from their holiday table. And besides, my cats are far better company than any of them! LOL.


  1. Julia, that's terrible!!! I'm so sorry about your situation. But you know, there are worse things than being alone & it sounds from what you said that you and the kitties had a most excellent Thanksgiving, and you all wanted to be with each other. You seem to have a healthy attitude towards it, though I'm sure that doesn't stop it from hurting your feelings.

    And you're right: there is NOTHING wrong with you. It's THEIR loss that you didn't grace their table!

    Selina & MomKatt

  2. We're sorry you were left out of Thanksgiving with others BUT it does sound like you have a purrrfectly nice time with your own loving kitty family....which, sometimes, is the BEST anyway! That unconditional love thing is wonderful at holidays when you're left out...I'm sure it hurt but onward - it was THEIR loss.

    Pam and Sammy

  3. I'm really sorry that happened, Julia. You are absolutely right -- it is THEIR problem, not yours. You are a kind and caring person, and you are blessed to have a feline family (hey, a family you got to CHOOSE ... how cool!) that loves and appreciates you.

    Oh, and don't forget that you have all of us bloggie pals, too. We all think you're awesome! :)

    Hugs and headbonks!

  4. Julia I feel awful that your half sister did something like that. But I also agree that it is THEIR problem. I haven't had a relationship with my mother for YEARS...she is abusive and toxic. I have reached out many times only to be insulted or pushed away, finally I said "enough is enough" It's HER problem. I agree with you, I am sure the cats were MUCH better company, they APPRECIATED YOUR LOVE and your PRESENCE which is the BEST way to spend Thanksgiving. You know what they say? You can't choose your family but you CAN choose your friends AND cats who are more like family anyway. Wish you were in Michigan, you could have joined us ((((hugs))))

  5. it is THEM. and how sad that not only did she not invite you but that it appears no one else took a stand. says you pick your friends but not your family - so celebrate with friends (and cats) :)

  6. That is THEIR problem. While I'm sorry they did what they did, I am super happy you didn't let it spoil your Thanksgiving. It sounds like you had a lovely Thanksgiving meal with those who matter...the kitties! :)

  7. My human has always preferred her friends to family, and in fact it isn't a real Thanksgiving for her if it does not include hanging out with people who matter - and as a rule, that does not mean people she is related to by blood. Just a thought. You are right - it is their loss.

  8. You are absolutely is their problem, not yours. We are really glad you didn't wallow and had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Maybe next year have a get together with some friends, who may not have anyone either. Meowm thinks about doing this, but her place is so tiny. She has been lucky to have friends or co-workers who invite her over.

  9. So, this club.. does it have membership? a secret handshake?

    There are times on facebook when I post how much I love cat people.. this is generally the reason..

  10. belle's mom....ewe iz eggs act lee iz KNOT ewe that haza issue.. it bee them... N frank lee if they R like that ya due knot WANNA bee any wear near, close by, ore round em...

    they prob ablee think they "won this battle" ... but de fact that ewe did knot let it upset ewe meens...EWE won...knot them...

    trooth bee known... there R mor peepulz who wooda RATHER stayed home by ther self.... then wanna add mit....

    sure it doez stink like crap what they did N sure it does hurt; its natural....but ewe stepped a way frum de crap.....N came out smellin like a rose !!!~~~

  11. Thanksgiving with kitties! What more do you need? You are right. The problem is theirs not yours. xox

  12. The real question is what's wrong with THEM for treating you like that. We're sorry they left you out like that. That's thoughtless and cruel. Sometimes, your real "family" is a circle of friends who loves you. And that absolutely includes your cats. Cats are often the best company of all on a holiday. Still, if you were in Florida, we would have gladly had you join us for Thanksgiving. Big hugs and purrs from all of us.

  13. Let us add to the chorus -- their problem, not yours.

    There's worse ways to spend the day than cooking a turkey, playing with the kitties, and watching some football (or a couple movies, if sports ain't your thing).

    If alone gets boring for next year, most places have some sort of group meal, usually connected to a local church or charity, if you hunt around. (and if there isn't, maybe something your can suggest yourself)

    1. You are so right, there is nothing wrong with you, and you took a difficult situation and made a positive out of it! We think you were right all the way through.

  14. We think spending time with your kitties was time better spent than with family members that don't appreciate you. oxoxox

  15. If the "people" whom you (by no fault of your own) happen to share DNA with are so inhumane as to exclude you, I say EFF THEM. And thank your stars that you didn't inherit anything more in common.

  16. We are so very glad to see that you understand it's not you. To our hearts, family is who we choose and not necessarily who has our DNA. Just meowing. Hang in there with the positive attitude!! :-)

  17. It's not you. It's them and we can't change that. Sounds like you had a much better day with those you love and who love you. Hugs and purrs...

  18. We talked about this, what we have in common. It's NOT me or you, you're absolutely correct. After our emails, I tried texting Happy Thanksgiving to my brother. Still no reply. I texted Belated Happy Birthday to my Sister in law and she replied: Who is this. I couldn't believe it. Life goes on.
    I Live Your Holiday Banner!