Friday, September 13, 2013

Our Warden is the Dumbest Human Ever!!

Oh hai, it's me Annabelle again. Now, you know I love my Warden to pieces, but sometimes I think she's just not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Lest you think I'm being too hard on the poor Warden, allow me to tell you a funny little story.

Not long ago, the Warden was delighted to win a fancy schmancy Ipod Touch. She has an Ipod but it's only one of those tiny Shuffle thingys that doesn't even hold enough songs to lull me to sleep (if I were into Ipods, which I'm not.)

So the Warden took her new Ipod Touch out of the box all excited to try it out, but she couldn't get it to play right. She said it only played music if she held the headphone jack in with her hand. Now, I'm only a kitteh but even I know this isn't the way you're sposed to have to use an Ipod.

The Warden was upset. She contacted the people she won it from and they sent her the receipt. But it turns out all she had to do was contact the Apple peeps, who arranged for a box to be sent so she could ship it back to be repaired or replaced.

Two days after sending it off, the Ipod came back (woot! now that's service!) but the note said they couldn't "recreate the problem" and that the Ipod worked fine for the techs. So the Warden turned it on again and had the same problem as before. Uh-oh. I think I saw steam coming out of her ears.

She started to wonder if it wouldn't play because of something she was doing wrong. I was like, Warden... hard is it to operate an Ipod? She didn't listen to me, though, and decided to take the Ipod to Radio Shack to ask them for advice. Good on ya, Warden!

She told the guy what the problem was and he asked her if she had the headphone jack pushed all the way in. She said she pushed it in as far as it would go, and that she thought pushing it in farther would break something. The guy took the Ipod from her, gave the headphone jack a nice big push and it clicked into place. Voila! Music! And you don't even have to hold the jack in with your hand!

The Warden said she's never been so embarrassed in all her elebenty billion years on earth. I ask you hard is it to operate an Ipod??

Monday, September 2, 2013

Would Anyone Hire This Kitteh?

Get a job? Oh no, I am not amused!!
Hey there! It’s Annabelle again. The Warden said Labor Day was a purrrrfect time for me to quit my copious catnapping and go find a job. “What? We cats don’t work! It’s against the Cat Rulebook,” I meowed emphatically. She wasn’t impressed that I quoted that book; she said it was written by some anonymous cat which made it invalid. Pshaw!

So then she tried to appeal to my emotional side, asking me if I felt bad eating all that kibble when I didn’t contribute to the household. Um…nope! Cats eat, play, sleep and then, eat some more. That’s it!

She had the nerve to remind me that she was still crazy-short on the green papers… all because of me. You may remember that a few months ago I was really sick. I spent four days at the vets after horking all night long, then refusing every foodables under the sun and looking rather comatose. At the time, the Warden didn’t care how many green papers it took as long as I could get well and come home. So I did…and now she’s paying for it, or trying to anyway.

Yeah… I guess I do feel kind of bad about that. If I could get a job, she’d be less stressed about the bills and I’d get lots more cuddles! (I already get lots, but a kitteh can never have too many cuddles!).

I put my paws together and came up with a few jobs I could apply for.

*Chief Paper Shredder – I just love eating paper – especially the Warden’s impawtant work papers! – so I would definitely excel at this job. Paper has lots of fiber and tastes yummy, too, so this job would have benefits I could sink my teeth into.

*Seat Filler – You know how the Academy Awards hires people to sit in the celebs’ seats when they go to the loo, so the place always looks packed? I’d be a natural at this job. Every time the Warden gets up from her chair to go do something, there is a cat in it – ME!! – when she gets back.

* Office Supply Clerk – I like to keep track of all the pens, pencils, paper clips, erasers, DVDs and sticky note pads by pushing them all off the Warden’s desk…so naturally I’d be a pro at this job from the get-go.

* Treat Taste Tester – Companies that make foodables always need taste testers to make sure their product is up to snuff. I’d be pawsome at this job because I just LOVE all kinds of treats. Even if it didn’t pay much, the tasty treats would make up for it.

* Psychotherapist – I already have experience doing this job!! Heaven knows I have to (pretend to) listen while the Warden tells me all her troubles. I could do the same with anyone else, and if I came home and told the Warden, she might feel better because surely there are people out there with worse problems than hers! MOL.


Because every job seeker must carefully analyze their weaknesses as well as their strengths, here are a few careers I’d fail famously:

See? I ALWAYS turn my head!
* Photography Model – When the Warden aims her camera at me, I turn my head. I can’t help it! She says it's a miracle when she manages to snap a shot with me looking at the camera.

* Restaurant Critic – I’d be no good at this job because I love ALL food, so I’d never be able to criticize a darn thing.

* Walmart Greeter – You’ve got to love strangers and be friendly to be good at this job. I possess neither quality. I only love the Warden and a few choice people, that’s it. Strangers? Fuhgetaboutit!

What job(s) would you be good at?